Separate bedrooms: a sign of a break-up?
Being in a separate room when you're in a relationship is not for everyone. But nobody is in the same situation.
Why do some couples prefer to sleep separately?
Reasons why some couples sleep separately
Sleeping in two separate rooms separates couples for a more intimate time. Some people do this to escape their spouse's snoring, to escape a noisy night owl while the other goes to bed early, but also to escape the place that the partner takes in the bed.
Some people also flee from a sleepwalking partner, who talks in his sleep, who takes up all the bed cover... or who works at night. Many possible situations that lead to sleep disturbances. With such a restless sleep, some people do not manage to be rested. In fact, it becomes necessary to find a solution.
Separate rooms: a complicated subject
Although a solution is needed to allow everyone to sleep peacefully, choosing to sleep in two separate rooms is not the easiest decision to make.
Indeed, it is often a difficult subject, even taboo. It is sensitive for some people but often necessary for various reasons that we have mentioned. Some people find it difficult to accept sleeping separately, but a decision is necessary. Some media lift the veil on this practice which would concern nearly1 in 5 people according to Madame Figaro.
Jacqueline and Serge, interviewed by Health MagazineHe snores too much so he prevents me from sleeping! I don't see the point of spending sleepless nights just because he is my husband! Although for some people it is possible to have a separate bedroom, for others it is a real dilemma.
In some ways, it's like choosing between comfort and privacy. However, an alternative is possible, according to other testimonies, since some couples sleep separately a few times a week and also sleep with their spouse the rest of the time.
The alternatives
According to some experts interviewed by the media, it is possible to find other solutions for your couple. Even if sleeping apart doesn't mean breaking up, there are other, gentler ways.
A Canadian sexologist-psychotherapist, François Renaud, suggests, for example, to sleep on the same box spring with two different mattresses in order to be able to buy a mattress specific to our sleep. It's not a miracle solution, but it can help. Another suggestion, which may be more applicable in North America, is that some older couples prefer to have their own place to live, their own house. In fact, sleep problems go away. On the other hand, sleeping separately can also help the couple, because sleeping badly can have negative consequences on the couple's life. In this case, it may be better to consider sleeping in separate rooms.
The sexologist also qualifies by saying that these alternative solutions must not be an escape from the couple's conflicts. This would lead to an unhealthy dynamic that would be difficult to repair.
As you can see, sleeping in separate rooms is not an end in itself. Nevertheless, you must have real reasons to do so, otherwise it can harm your relationship. Then you have to weigh the pros and cons. Is it better to sleep together and have one of you take out your bad mood on the other because of a lack of sleep, or to give up some of your intimacy so that you can get together afterwards? The most important thing is to discuss it with your partner to find the right solution.
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