Carimmat

In order to highlight the jobs related to dating and love, we decided to interview different professionals. Vanessa Luciano is the first one.

She is a sex therapist and agreed to answer some questions in order to shed light on her activity and its stakes. Through this, she tells us about her journey before arriving in sex therapy, and brings us a light on this still rather unknown notion that we often confuse with sexology. In this way, Vanessa also gives us her point of view on love through dating applications like Carimmat.

Hello Vanessa, introduce yourself.

When I was 18 years old, I studied psychology for about a year and a half. At 20 years old, the world of students did not suit me anymore. But the field of psychology remained in a corner of my mind (I guess). Then, I spent about 15 years in the banking sector, then in management and professional training... In 2008 (37 years old), I heard Brigitte Lahaie on the radio by chance and quickly became a fan of her show "Lahaie, l'amour et vous". I contacted her to offer to work with her. I became a columnist on RMC with a weekly "sexo" column for several years. Long before I came of age, I had acquired a lot of knowledge about "sexology". It is a field that has always fascinated me. By dint of reading, work and encounters that confirmed my choice, I decided in 2012 to start training as a sex therapist (Ecole Indigo - Alain Héril). I have been practicing as a private practitioner since 2019. Almost all my consultations are done by phone, email and video. Therefore, I have patients all over France.

What does your job as a sex therapist consist of? Is it different from sexologist?

A sexologist is a physician who has acquired competence in sexology through training. A sex therapist is not a doctor, but any good sex therapist has training in sexology AND psychology. I do not prescribe medication or additional tests. I will listen to the patient and help him/her to heal his/her sexual problems which will necessarily be linked to emotional or psychological disorders..

How do you help the individuals who consult you? 

Often, they are sent to me by doctors, gynecologists and urologists. The health check-ups (mandatory for me) have been done and the sexual problems, whether secondary or primary, are necessarily psychological. From this moment on, and thanks to a questionnaire targeted on the sentimental and sexual life, I will listen to the patient. Then I will put the finger on what prevents him/her from being fully fulfilled. Healing occurs when we understand together what is going on. Very often we solve the problem in one or two consultations. What I want to show is that sex therapy has nothing to do with a psychoanalysis that lasts for years... In three months maximum, one can really get better. I have patients (and couples in particular) that I have been following for years but who call me once or twice a year.

What do you think about finding love on a dating app and the relationship to sex? 

I know a lot of people who have found love on dating sites. Finding it is less of a problem in my opinion than keeping it. In order to keep intimacy and love in a couple for as long as possible, you must certainly "pamper" your sexuality. At least, that's my belief. And that's why, in an ideal world, I would have liked couples to consult someone specialized in sexuality on a regular basis, even before problems arise. Because when they do, it's often too late.

If you wish to know more about the services offered by Vanessa Luciano, we invite you to visit her website: ambre-sexytherapeute.over-blog.com 

You can also find its content on Youtube : Ambre L.